Painting the Wall.

At the moment there is balance in our house.  2 Males. 2 Females. 2 Adults. 2 Children.

Then we have 6 chickens and they sort of throw the balance out a bit. Plus they are not even laying eggs so I am thinking of donating them to somewhere!

Then there is also the baby.  The baby that has been called it for the last 16 or so weeks that we knew it existed.

Now that baby is 20 weeks and considered a baby, a real person I guess and should really have a new name other than "it".

Because I already have one boy and one girl I really had no preference for this third baby.

There are pros and cons to both. From my short experience I really think boys are easier to parent, they are simple, what you see is what you get.  They are affectionate and caring and Mummys boys.  I have learnt a lot from having a boy, namely learning all the names of different machines, learning all about guns and weapons and gaols.  I have learnt to see that most of the time boys get over things quickly and are not as dramatic about things.

A Girl has taught me all about Barbie again and that there can be delight found in dancing and singing and skipping through the street.  Girls can also be far more dramatic, they can stomp their feet at you and then act nice as pie!  They are more complex and can pout and then the next moment have you in hysterics.

Having another girl I feel would be simple.  Not simple to parent but simple as far as not having to deal with the emotions that will arise when having a boy. I have done the girl and coped so I would again.

In one moment I think I would like the challenge of experiencing those emotions parenting a neurotypical boy then the next minute I think I must be crazy ( I am after all a girl).

When we had our 20 week scan I was focussed on the gender slightly but most of all wanting this baby to be healthy.  I live on the world where I have seen so much difference and that I know what really can happen out there.

The scan went well, the baby was perfectly healthy and I was told to go home and relax and enjoy.

I was thrilled. I was excited.  I did not cry when I thought I would.

When we got home Pepper did cry.  Cooper was still so excited.

It was not until Sunday night when I was lying in bed with Pep that I looked at her and realised she would always be my precious princess.  I looked at Cooper and started crying realising that he would have to share the title of my favourite boy.  I could not stop crying and I really thought out loud that I wanted another girl as I now really did not want to feel the way I was feeling right now.

I am scared this baby will look like Cooper at birth, well it will be alive and pink and loud but in looks.  I am worried about comparisons and having that "what if" thrown in my face on occasion.

I really cannot even imagine having a little boy in my life that is abled bodied.  I always find it so bizarre when I see boys at the playground or before school, they seem so foreign to me.  Those ones that run around for no apparent reason, climb like little monkeys and seem to have their own language to communicate.

I am excited though to have a new life in my life. I am looking forward to parenting a child that will be different to my first two.  I am excited for Cooper to have a brother, a mate, someone he can really be the older brother to.  I am happy that Andrew will have a son that will be different to Cooper and Pepper.
I am excited Pepper will have a little sibling to entertain and that will laugh at her dancing moves!

At least we agree on a name as we were arguing about Girls names!

Oh and can you guess why Pep was crying.  She came home and sat in her room for about an hour and then came out and was very quiet.  We asked her if she was okay and what was wrong?

Her little lip started to quiver.

" I wanted a sister" she cried.

24 hours later she sparked up and stated with a smile " I will be the princess and I am having a little dubber".