I had known it since he was born, I thought it, everyday reminded me but I had never said it outloud to anyone as though it was admitting the truth or reality or something.
I was standing at the local shops after sharing coffee with my youngest sister and my Dad.
I cried and cried and cried at the realisation that yes this was true, it did happen and it was happening to me and to Cooper and to us as a family.
Its really only been seven years later that the realisation dawned on me that Cooper, myself, Andrew and our family are on three very different disability journeys. As we all start to see outside ourselves, and as the fog lifts, came a moment of big change in my mind and my being.
Why was I allowing myself to worry so much, why did I so desperately want that crystal ball? Why was it sometimes all too much?
I looked to Cooper for the answer and I let go of alot of the guilt I was carrying.
Cooper says he loves having Cerebral Palsy, in fact it is awesome apparently. He would not change the fact he has CP as it would be to change him. Plus he would not get to go to speech therapy apparently. He loves being different he says and loves having a powerwheelchair. He does not want a cure, well maybe to help him walk but he still wants to have Cererbral Palsy.
My seven year old has taught me so much. He has brought our family closer together. He has opened up our eyes to what it really important, he has enabled us to see the smallest things are the most special. He is the reason we parent like we do, he is the reason his sister is allowed to climb on anything because she can!, he is the reason his baby brother gets a standing ovation when his fine motor skills allow him to pick up a sultana. We embrace all our children as individuals but it is Cooper that has allowed us this very special view of life as we now know it.
Windows to his soul Cooper aged five.
"I wrote this as a guest blogger on Mumstrosity sharing my parenting story so far"