Friday, October 12, 2012

"My child has a disability"

I clearly remember when out loud for the first time I said "my child has a disability".

I had known it since he was born, I thought it, everyday reminded me but I had never said it outloud to anyone as though it was admitting the truth or reality or something.

I was standing at the local shops after sharing coffee with my youngest sister and my Dad.

I cried and cried and cried at the realisation that yes this was true, it did happen and it was happening to me and to Cooper and to us as a family.

Its really only been seven years later that the realisation dawned on me that Cooper, myself, Andrew and our family are on three very different disability journeys. As we all start to see outside ourselves, and as the fog lifts, came a moment of big change in my mind and my being.

Why was I allowing myself to worry so much, why did I so desperately want that crystal ball? Why was it sometimes all too much?

I looked to Cooper for the answer and I let go of alot of the guilt I was carrying.

Cooper says he loves having Cerebral Palsy, in fact it is awesome apparently. He would not change the fact he has CP as it would be to change him. Plus he would not get to go to speech therapy apparently. He loves being different he says and loves having a powerwheelchair. He does not want a cure, well maybe to help him walk but he still wants to have Cererbral Palsy.

My seven year old has taught me so much. He has brought our family closer together. He has opened up our eyes to what it really important, he has enabled us to see the smallest things are the most special. He is the reason we parent like we do, he is the reason his sister is allowed to climb on anything because she can!, he is the reason his baby brother gets a standing ovation when his fine motor skills allow him to pick up a sultana. We embrace all our children as individuals but it is Cooper that has allowed us this very special view of life as we now know it.



                                               Windows to his soul Cooper aged five.
                                                        


"I wrote this as a guest blogger on Mumstrosity sharing my parenting story so far"

12 comments:

  1. This is beautiful. We had no idea that Boo would be disabled when she was born. Both my husband and I have gone thru different stages of what it means to us. We had no way of knowing how Boo's disability would affect our extended family. Or how some of them who refused to acknowledge it would affect us. I love how you wrote that you, your husband and family had different journeys. It sums it up perfectly.

    And the picture of Coop is priceless.

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  2. Beautifully said as usual - with a gorgeous pic of Cooper to match!

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  3. A lovely post Bron. How exciting being a guest blogger! Gorgeous pics of Cooper

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  4. Hi Bron,

    I read your blog regularly but I don't comment much. I am a 20 year old law student with CP. This reminded me of a post I made a couple of years ago: http://cheesechalkandcp.blogspot.co.nz/2010/07/wow-im-disabled-moments.html. I'm impressed by Cooper's acceptance of his disability - I know I struggled to accept myself for a long time, especially during high school. It wasn't so much the physical limitations but the social. Things are generally a lot better these days, though like everyone, I still have my bad days. Anyway, just thought I'd tell you that I'd enjoyed your post.

    Erin

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    1. Hi Erin, thanks so much for reading and introducing yourself! i popped over to read your writing and spent a long time reading about your journey! what a big step this year going to Uni and your parents moving to my hometown! thankyou for sharing your insight as it really helps me as a parent in preparation as Cooper develops more and more x big hurdles sometimes to cross! lovely to meet you.

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  5. This was beautiful! There is something about speaking the words aloud that makes it a reality, isn't there? Thanks for sharing your thoughts so openly.

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  6. What a gorgeous young man! I know how it feels to change the way we do just about everything and realizing what the really important things in life are. My daughter was disabled at age 2 from brain cancer. She doesn't have the understanding to wish that she wasn't disabled, but everyday she tells me that she doesn't like the seizures and wants them to go away!

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  7. He's so amazing and not just because he is, but also because he has an amazing family. xx

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  8. Wise words as always Bron and beautifully expressed xx

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  9. It's amazing the things that kids can teach us, Cooper really is an inspiration and I reckon he has a very bright future ahead of him with such a positive outlook on life. We could all learn a thing or two from Cooper about appreciating what we have.

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  10. Bawwwwling over here. Thank you for being so very, very wise Cooper.

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  11. You and your family are an inspiration.

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Thankyou for leaving a comment and sharing our journey. Lovely to meet you via blogging and thankyou for your words. Bron

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