Woody is sitting in his pram, squirming, calling out and trying to get out.
" They don't now how lucky they have it do they?" she says to me.
" I wish someone would push me around all day and feed me" she says with a giggle and another customer agrees.
I don't say anything. I bite my tongue. I think that maybe I would have said something similar in the past......that is before Cooper.
It made me particularly sad as I had had a tough weekend with Cooper. I am really struggling with him lately. I feel so out of my depth parenting a boy, a seven year old, an eldest son, a son with CP.
I wanted to reply to this youngish girl " are you fucking kidding me?" " really you think having your independence limited and having to be pushed around would be enjoyable?" " really you think you would like to have to rely on others to get your nutrition each day?"
Each day when we sit for breakfast I sit inbewteen Woody and Cooper. I spoon weetbix into Woodys mouth then into Coopers mouth. One side is a one year old, the other side is a nearly eight year old. Then I quickly shove one into my own mouth and repeat the process. Six days a week. Andrew does the seventh.
Its almost like a kick in the guts each and every day and I am unsure why it really gets to me. But it does. A few things do like that and dressing.
" dont worry Mum, Woody can nearly feed himself and then you can just feed Cooper and enjoy your breakfast" says Pepper at four after setting the table and getting her own cereal, pouring her milk and chatting away while eating so effortlessly. She knows in my eyes that I have these moments when things should have been different but they are not. She knows my heart aches and she gives me a little grin as if trying to make me feel better.
Cooper tries so hard to feed himself, its a slow slow journey to independent eating with cutlery.
So maybe Woody is lucky as a baby to sit in his pram and suck on a yoghurt so easily. But he is also lucky to be developing so typically soon to be feeding himself with a spoon, like his sister but unlike his brother.